I complain too much. There I said it.
my child doesn't sleep enough
I am tired
He fusses too much
it's hard to get him to sleep
it is hard to take him places
The other night I asked my facebook friends for help, how do I get mason to sleep himself and for more than 2 hours a night. I got TONS of comments from parents new and old, from parents young and not so young. I thank you for these comments because it really opened my eyes.
I wasn't enjoying mommyhood or Mason nearly enough as I should have been. I use past tense because this past week I have loved every minute of being with my son. I have enjoyed his crying, his waking up, his refusal to fall asleep. I have napped with him instead of doing house work.
After reading everyone's advice, things really touched my heart. I cried a few times at what I was being told. You all are great and RIGHT. I need to step back and enjoy these hard times. They will pass and I will miss them. I will miss Mason being so small and young. I will miss Mason wanting me and only me in the middle of the night. I will miss being his only safe haven.
I thought I wanted Mason to grow up faster, to sleep on his own and to allow me time to myself but I DON"T. I want to cherish every little part of my time as a mom. I don't care that I have to rock him to sleep 4 times a day while he fusses for 10-20 minutes because he is tired but doesn't want to nap. I don't care that he is a mommy's boy and sometimes I am lazy and nurse him to sleep. I don't care that he sometimes sleep in bed with me because I want another hour of sleep and he isn't having the bassinet anymore. Nobody is perfect and that means me too. I do not want to raise my child to be self dependent at 2 months old. I want him to want me. I will not spoil him and bend over because he doesn't want to sit in his swing while i cook dinner but I will love, comfort and rock him whenever he wants me.
When times are hard it is easy to complain and I realize I do this WAY too much. I don't want to complain and stress but instead enjoy these moments as they are only temporary. I love being a mom SO much more now that I have opened my mind and heart.
Thank you again to everyone who had encouraged me with helpful words and advice.