For those of you who don't know, that stands for blighted ovum.
Two weeks ago we went in for our first prenatal visit with Kathy, our midwife. As I laid on the table cold and anxious, I wanted nothing more than to hear the heartbeat of our little baby. This pregnancy had felt so different than Mas'. I hadn't been sick once and it was hard to believe I was almost out of my first trimester.
After 5 minutes of wiggling around and changing positions there was still no heartbeat to be found. Kathy suggested we go in for an sonogram the next day just to make sure everything was okay. Many reasons arose why we couldn't find the heartbeat. I had just emptied my bladder, maybe the baby was in a weird position or I was possibly not as far along as I thought.
The next morning I filled my bladder and we headed to the sonogram. Again I sat cold and anxious as the lady painfully pressed all over my belly. We sat quietly for about 15 minutes before she told me to go empty my bladder and she was going to try a transvaginal ultrasound. Not knowing what was going on I used the restroom and hurried back in.
Another silent 15 minutes went by. She then told me to clean myself off and she would be back to talk to me. It seemed like instantly Austin and I knew the baby was not healthy.
I had experienced a blighted ovum or "missed miscarriage."
The sperm had attached to the egg but only 2 of the 3 next parts took place; a sac and placenta were formed but the embryo did not. There was nothing more than an empty sac. They don't know much on the causes of this other than the body detects something is wrong and tries to stop pregnancy immediately.
My body hadn't realized there was no baby yet so the only options were to let it naturally catch on and go through a miscarriage process or have a d&c. Kathy recommended letting my body take care of it myself and I agreed.
This weekend my body realized what was going on and I went through a mild labor (about 24 hours of constant cramping/contraction like pain) and the passing of an empty sac and placenta.
I write this today because the physical part is over and now it just a matter of emotional healing. I haven't told many what I am going through and instead of replying to single text, phone calls and facebook post on how pregnancy is going I felt it better, for me, to let everyone know.
My sister in law wrote me this verse:
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" Matthew 5:4
Thank you to all my awesome friends and family who have been there for me so far. You have been a blessing in encouraging me, lifting me up and listening.