The Mom I Want to Be

This last week I have been taking Mason to the park in the mornings.
He loves running around, climbing UP the slides then walking down the stairs.

He watches close as other kids play with a smile on his face then tries to mimic what they did. He is shy and often times watches and laughs before warming up and slowly approaching them.

I usually go during Ryla's morning nap so I can peacefully snuggle her on a bench and watch. That was until one day I saw all the other moms this way, sitting on a bench, cigarette in one hand cell phone in the other. Their kids yelling and begging for their attention, wanting nothing more than mom to watch them climb this tree.

It hit me then that I did not want Mason to remember me as the mom on the bench.
I didn't want him competing for my attention over the phone or any other insignificant thing.
 I didn't want him to lose faith in my love and attention.
 I didn't want him to give up on me and do things without asking me to admire them.


From that moment on I decided I wanted to be the crazy mom, who looks 12 and like I belong on the jungle gym, climbing the steps and falling down the slides. I cradled Ryla in my arms and we ran up and down that play place. I burned my arms rolling down the slides, I sweated more than I wanted to. I chased him under bridges and between areas I could barely squeeze. I didn't take pictures to document on Instagram but rather made memories and adored smiles.

I often times get caught up in what I want to do;email, blog, workout, watch this news story, drink a cup of coffee before it goes cold but I realized all this can wait. I have 2 littles growing up too fast and I know they are taking in everything I do right now. I want them to learn what is important to me and that is them!